I would like to think that I’m a mature and well rounded adult. I pay my taxes, buy boring things such as insurance, take notice of interest rates and I always vote.
However, every now and then it dawns on me that in fact, I haven’t developed as much as my enforced façade displays. Often the mask slips and glimmers of that annoying and quite moronic fool that controlled me for the first twenty years of my life is for all to see.
Today that moronic side forced me into a race.
Walking to work I normally have to stop at some traffic lights at a bottom of a hill. When the green man began flashing today, instead of trudging along with the other clones, I suddenly found myself in a foot face to its summit with a tracksuit clad youth.
He overtook me and something snapped. I wouldn’t and couldn’t let this teen beat me. He got a good start and quickly over took me, I showed great resilience quickly passing him but again the Nike sponsored cretin overtook me.
We didn’t look at each other or acknowledge the fact they we were in a duel but we knew the score.
This stride off continued for a good ten minutes until I got the ultimate advantage and eventually won. I seized the initiative and nipped in front of a car, quite dangerously, and gave him the slip.
Aha! Victory!
A moronic victory.
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Speed walking in Sheffield is a risky business, as well you know: think of that poor girl you rugby tackled/flattened on Eccleshall Road
ReplyDeleteAhh but that was down to soggy cardboard, won't be making that mistake again
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