O brave new world

As I peaked out of my bedroom window a glorious beam of sunlight hit my face, instantly blowing away any dregs of Monday morning depression.

My healthy cereal and ice cold milk was wonderful and feeling refreshed, I began a unexpected trouble free drive to the station – not a jam in sight.

I got to the station and was greeted by an attractive brunette who gave me a flirtatious smile and thrust a free chocolate bar into my hand.

To my utter surprise the train arrived early and the clean carriage was practically empty.

The journey was quiet and I happily tucked into my free chocolate while the quiet zone in the carriage lived up to its name.

When I reached my stop, I strode off the train with a spring in my step and began to meander down the platform ready to face a fulfilling sun kissed day. Sometimes it feels great to be alive.

As I got to the platforms entrance there was a large group of very attractive women from some random sports team.

O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beautious mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people in't!

Had I awoke in a parallel dimension?

No.

This commuter utopia correctly crashed down around my bedazzled ears.

I turned a corner leaving the station and was greeted by the sight of an angry tramp.

He was slumped next to a wall, had vomit on his tracksuit top and was shouting random vowels at people as they went by, while a pair of very sad underpants swung from his crusty bottom.